A Christmas Remembered

Part Two - The Burdens of War

Christmas Eve morning, 1943, the meeting of Allied war planners was over at it's secret location north of London. Frank rubbed his tired eyes, as his driver loaded his baggage into the staff car. He was weary and ready to return to London. He needed a good night's sleep but there would be a mandatory Christmas party to attend. He was not looking forward to the festivities. For him, there was nothing to celebrate because the last four months had been hell.

Frank pushed all but the war planning scenarios out of his head as he climbed into the back seat and sat back for the long journey back down to London. He was going to catch some sleep and leave the driving to the sergeant. The clouds took on a ominous darkness. Frank hoped they could get safely back to London before any more snow, rain or sleet fell. He and his driver exchanged few words which was fine with him. He needed to go over the plans in his head and catch a nap and his driver needed to focus on the driving conditions.

After an hour or so into the three hour ride, the weather started to deteriorate. It started to rain steadily but there was sleet mixed in. The driver woke Frank to alert him. Frank sat up and took note of the quickly changing conditions. He did not like what he saw. They were still a couple of hours out of London.

Frank told his driver that if got any worse, to pull into an inn and they would make the best of it. Very soon the rain changed over to sleet and then snow. The temperatures were dropping fast. Even though the sergeant was driving very carefully the car started to slide. He hollered for the General to brace himself and then the heavy vehicle slid off the road into a tree.

Frank was thrown against the door of the car and the driver's head hit the window. There were a few moments of silence. The driver was dazed. Frank gently moved the man's head away from the window and found blood streaming down the side of the his face. He used his handkerchief to stem the blood flow. Frank got out of the car and checked the damage. The car was dented but did not look too bad, but it was off the road and would need to be pulled back on to it. He looked around for signs of habitation and in the dwindling light of day saw a house of some type with smoke coming from its many chimnies. He checked on his driver and the young man was trying to get out of the car.

They were near what looked like a driveway going up a slight hill to the house. Since snow was now falling heavily, Frank needed to get the sergeant to shelter before they were unable to see where they were going. Sgt. Akers stood upright but his world was spinning. Frank emptied out his briefcase and stuffed the contents into the inner pockets of his blouse. He then put his arm under the injured man and started up the winding driveway to the house.

Inside the house, a small girl had heard the crash. She had acute hearing for one so young. It was necessary because she was blind. Her name was Sarah. The child called to her mother and aunt that she had heard something go bang outside. The adults were busy and heard nothing. The other four children in the house were busy playing and also heard nothing.

Her Aunt Amanda though, by instinct, decided to check. The young RAF Air Transport Auxiliary pilot put on her flight jacket and went outside to take a look. Half way down the driveway she saw two men approaching the house, one man helping the other. She ran back and called for the two older boys to come help, then she ran down to assist the men.

She got on the other side of the sergeant and lifted his arm around her shoulder and helped the men up the hill. The older boys joined the trio and the general gratefully surrendered his burden to one of them. As the men entered the house, Amanda's sister-in-law, Lady Alicia Whitfield instructed her staff to bring hot drinks for the unexpected arrivals. The two men were taken into the library where there was a roaring fire. Lady Whitfield told one of the children to get Nanny, who was also a nurse. Cummins, the butler, took the coats and hats. The boys and Cummins then went back outside to see if the car could pulled back onto the road.

Sarah stood back out of the way and listened to the activity going on around her. Her mother had always said that the child understood more of what was going on than the rest of the family that could see. Sarah heard the two men talking. One seemed to be in pain from an injury. The other man, an older one, seemed to be very sad. He was in a different type of pain. Sarah did not fully understand what she heard and she was a curious child. She could hear her nanny and knew the woman was taking care of the injured man. The older man was accepting something hot to drink from her mother. The child was fascinated by the sound of his voice. She really wanted to meet and talk to him. He seemed very nice. But why was he so sad?

Lady Whitfield and her sister-in-law made sure the newcomers were as comfortable as possible. Amanda asked the general if there was someone she could contact for him. She suggested they do it quickly before the phones went out. Frank asked if he could make the call and did so. He called London and gave the duty officer at SHAEF the information as to where they were and what had happened. Amanda supplied the location of their house and how to get to it. That done, they both sat back down in front of the fire.

Frank thanked the ladies for their hospitality. Lady Whitfield told him that she was delighted to have extra company and she was hoping they would join the family in the festivities. She had already opened bedrooms for her guests. She told the two men that she was waiting for her husband to get home. She excused herself to check on the rest of her children, leaving Amanda and Sarah, the General, in the library. The Sergeant had gone upstairs with Nanny.

Frank asked Amanda about the flight jacket he had noticed her wearing and she explained that she was a ferry pilot with the RAF. He looked at her with curiosity. She smiled at him. She knew what was bothering him.

"It's my accent you're wondering about, isn't it?" she answered the unspoken question in his eyes.

"Yes," he replied, "it doesn't sound totally British."

"You're correct. I'm American by birth but carry duel citizenship. Lady Whitfield is my sister-in-law. My brother is British. When the war started I was offered the opportunity to serve as a pilot because of my flying experience. I jumped at the chance and have been serving ever since."

Frank asked her what she flew. She replied, "Every thing from the smallest plane to heavy bombers." Frank was very impressed. He looked at the young woman and judged her to be in her late twenties. She had auburn hair with fiery highlights and the softest, light brown eyes. There was something else about her but he could not put a finger on it. Whatever it was it was pleasant.

Sarah finally walked over to Frank and Amanda and stuck out her hand and introduced herself. Amanda smiled. Her niece had a irrepressible personality. Amanda did the introductions and Sarah firmly grasped Frank's hand and shook it. He had to grin at the child. She asked him what a general was so he took his time explaining it to her. She asked about the other gentleman and he explained what a sergeant was. Amanda told her niece that nanny had thought it best that the Sergeant go up and rest a bit. Sarah said she was very pleased to meet him and the Sergeant and was quite happy that they were staying. Amanda shooed the little girl off to join her sisters and brothers but Sarah hung back for just a minute. She turned toward her aunt and asked if she thought her daddy would make it home in time. Amanda hesitated and then said honestly, "Honey, with this weather so bad, I really don't know. But I do know he will try very hard to be here for Christmas." That said, the child left.

Amanda sighed and explained, "She was waiting at the window for her father to come up the driveway. That's why she heard the crash. She's been at the window off and on, all day. The poor thing will be very sad if Alan, my brother, doesn't make it home tonight. Hopefully he will call if it is impossible to get home." She got up to put another log on the fire. The room was illuminated by the fresh wood and Frank finally looked up at the portraits covering the walls. Amanda followed his eyes. "Our whole family is here. Over the mantle is Father and Mother, to the right is Alan when he graduated Eaton, next is me at my presentation and the last painting is Alan, Alicia, Alan Jr., Brian, Silvia, Mercy and Sarah as a baby, in their family portrait." Frank's eyes gazed over the pictures. He studied each one carefully but the one that held his attention was the one of Amanda in a lovely green velvet gown that looked to be Victorian. Amanda noticed his interest in her picture. "You're wondering about the gown?"

"Yes," he replied. "It's Victorian isn't it? It's lovely."

"Thank you. It's a tradition for the women in our family to wear a gown that a predecessor has worn when their portrait is done. It's a fun thing that also keeps us in touch with our past. At our home in New Hampshire, mother has a portrait of me in a Edwardian gown. I have to admit that I like this one better."

Frank looked over at the young woman and said, "maybe it's just the young lady wearing the gown that makes the portrait spectacular." Amanda looked at him and found herself blushing. "Thank you" she stammered. She rose from the couch and said, " I must help my sister-in-law finish with decorating the tree. You are welcomed to stay here in the library and enjoy the fire or rest if you wish. Clemmons has already taken your luggage up to your room. It will be a long evening. We are hoping Alan will make it home in time to put the angel on the tree. If he doesn't, we may have to enlist your aid." Frank said that he hoped that her brother made it home in time but if not, he would be happy to do anything that needed to be done. Then he asked her where her brother was coming from and she said the nearby naval base. As Frank and Amanda walked out of the library he glanced out the window and saw the blowing snow. He sincerely wished the man well on his journey home.

Frank easily found his room and with a nice fire in its hearth warming the room. He closed the door behind him and carefully took off his uniform jacket where he had stashed his papers and laid it down on the bed. He put another log on the fire and lay down for a much needed nap. As he tried to fall asleep, he thoughts went back for the last four, almost five months. He was desperately tired even after a month of medical leave. In August he had been downed over France, listed as KIA for two months and, when found, was brought back to England emaciated, suffering from pneumonia, beatings and depression. In that time Wiley Crowe, his friend, had been reassigned back to Washington and shortly after, died of a heart attack. Liz, his former girl friend, turned out to be a fair weather friend. She shrunk away from him when she paid him an unexpected visit at the base hospital. He realized he was emaciated and had aged while in captivity but what did she expect? Col. Gallagher, who had taken over the 918th, was resentful of Frank's return. Only the ever faithful Maj. Harvey Stoval, Doc Kaiser, Col. Joseph Cobb and a few of the other command officers offered their continued friendship and loyalty. At least he had responsibilities back. He had been given the job of devising war plans for SHAEF, for the air operations portion of the invasion of Europe. He had been forced, however, to give up combat flying. At least he had the needed challenges to keep him going, otherwise...

Finally he forced the past months back out of his mind by focusing on the young woman in the portrait. Then he thought of the same young woman in the flight jacket. He wondered if she had changed as he had because of the war. Frank also thought of her eyes. She had the most beautiful eyes and they seemed to penetrate his soul. She seemed to understand what he was thinking to some extent. He yawned and just before relaxing into sleep he realized that he had only known her for less than two short hours.

A couple of hours later a knock on his door notified him that there would shortly be a gathering downstairs for wassail and snack. He got up and looked out the window and saw that the snow had settled into steady flurries. It reminded him of many Ohio Christmases he had known when he was a kid. He wondered if Sarah's father had gotten home yet.

He washed up and redressed and went downstairs to join the others. Sgt. Akers joined him on the stairs. He told Frank that Nanny had checked in on him several times. He assured Frank that he was much better. The two men joined the family in the large parlor that was decorated with garlands of evergreen and holly, with bright red berries. There were plates of pastries, a large bowl of Wassail, several bottles of wine and a bowl of oranges. Frank was amazed. He didn't see Amanda coming up behind him, but she could see his face reflected in the mirror over the mantle. Her soft voice made him jump a bit and he turned to find her at his side. She was beautiful and dressed in the same green, velvet dress that she wore in the portrait. Her hair was up in the style of the Victorians. At her ears were small pearl and diamond earrings and around her neck a matching necklace. His heart jumped. She had an amused look on her face. She murmured to him "It's amazing what you can barter for in the islands." All Frank could say was "Madam, you are beautiful." They looked at each other for what seemed like forever. Amanda thanked him.

Finally, Frank cleared his throat and asked if her brother had made it home yet. "No," said Amanda "and Sarah is still clinging to hope that her Father will make it in time to put the angel on the tree. She will be so disappointed if he doesn't come." Amanda slipped her hand under the General's arm. All of a sudden Frank felt good, like a human being again.

When he looked around he realized that Lady Whitfield was also dressed in a period costume, as were the children. It was as if he had stepped back in time. Was this a just a lovely dream? Amanda asked him what he would like to drink and he said it didn't matter. She daintily picked up her skirt and directed him across the room to the wassail bowl. Amanda looked up at him with a coy smile on her face and warned him the punch was spiked. He could't help but grin.

Sarah, being escorted by her older sister Mercy, and the other children went to the table covered with oranges and cookies. Frank asked quietly where did they manage to get enough ingredients to make the cookies. Amanda said again that the barter system was a wonderful thing. Frank looked down at her, finally understanding, and his grin got bigger.

Lady Whitfield called everyone to quiet and explained that the children were going to sing some carols for their guests. The children lined up in order of size and they began their caroling. Frank and Sgt. Akers had not heard such sweet, innocent sounds since the war started. Both men enjoyed the children's voices very much. After they finished, the children went with Nanny up to their own dining area for their supper. The adults stayed behind and enjoyed light hearted conversation but Frank noticed that Lady Whitfield kept looking at the grandfather's clock. It was getting late and he could see the worry on her face.

They all moved into the dining room. There was a generous feast laid out on the table and Lady Whitfield directed her guests to their seats. She took her seat at one end of the table, the other end remained empty. Amanda sat beside the general. The sergeant sat across from them. They were about to say grace when Amanda heard something outside and she turned and looked out the dining room window. Sgt. Akers said, "I could have sworn I heard sleigh bells." Then they heard excited squeals of children upstairs, some saying Santa had arrived but a more excited voice of the youngest child saying, "it's Daddy." Amanda was out of her seat in a flash headed to the door. She pulled it open and shouted, "He is here!" Lady Whitfield jumped from her seat, ran to the foyer and greeted her husband with open arms. Commodore Alan Whitfield arrived, encrusted with snow and laden down with a sack of toys and his luggage. Children streamed downstairs and hugged their father. The boys helped their dad with his luggage and Cummins took the sack of toys. Little Sarah stood on the last step letting the other children greet their dad first. Her dad, expecting that, and after giving his other children kisses, walked over to his youngest and picked her up in his arms and hugged her tight and kissed her.

Lady Whitfield introduced the officers and Alan Whitfield had a hard time hiding his amusement. He'd been with General Savage at the same gathering for the last few days. He did manage to greet Savage without letting on they had already met. Savage was trying to do the same thing. Frank turned to introduce his driver and gave him a hard look. The sergeant understood. The secret was kept. Alan asked if that large lump off the side of the road was their vehicle and they said it was. Alan was glad that nothing worse had happened to the men.

Now that the family was finally whole, they went back into the dining room and enjoyed a fine meal. Afterwards, the ladies excused themselves and went upstairs. Sgt. Akers, who still had a bit of a headache from the accident, went up to bed. Alan and Savage went into the library where they both enjoyed drinks. Alan asked Cummins to bring in the bag of toys he had brought home with him. He sorted things out as he took them from the sack. Alan looked at Savage and asked, "How's your engineering skills?"

Savage grinned, "It's been some time since I've put anything together and nothing like this." He was eying a box marked doll house.

Alan pulled out a box containing the parts to construct a doll house for his daughters. it came with instructions. The two men looked at the plans for the doll house and rolled up their sleeves. For the next hour and half, two grown men sat on the floor putting together a child's toy, and cursing the designer.

Part Three - Christmas Day In The Morning

Day break on Christmas Day came with the last of the snowfall. There was no chance anyone was going to make it to church or any place else that day. The world was white and magical. Even though Alan had gone to bed late, he was up early to put the angel on the tree top. Then the doors of the parlor were opened to the children and their happy squeals and shouts filled the house. Every fire place was blazing. The scent of morning breakfast filled the air, including that of freshly brewed coffee.

Coffee! Frank's brain registered the fragrance with delight. He wondered what Amanda had bartered in exchange for that precious commodity in wartime England. He joined the others downstairs. Akers was already downstairs watching the children opening their presents. The sergeant was from a large family and was the second oldest who helped his parents with the younger siblings. Frank noted the sadness on his driver's face. Akers was homesick. Frank understood.

Amanda looked at him when he approached her and she poured him a cup of coffee. He looked at her and said, "Madam you are a life saver." She gave him a big smile. He observed her and noted she looked very tired, her eyes were bloodshot. "Was your night too short?" he asked.

"There are always the last minute details before Christmas Day." Then she looked down at her coffee cup and said with a coy smile, "You know, a woman's work is never done." She looked up at him with a mischievous twinkle in her eyes.

They all watched the excited children and the loving hugs given by their parents and received from the children. Amanda found herself reassessing her life's goals. She had planned to see the war through without getting serious with any man. Right now her world was flying; a last chance to spread her wings and literally fly. She had pushed aside everything else. But suddenly life had just opened up another possibility and it was forcing her to ask herself different questions. She wondered about the officer sitting next to her. Somehow she had to find out. She needed to know, because her future depended on the information. Her heart was demanding answers.

Frank was doing some hard thinking himself. Surely this beautiful lady belonged to someone but if not --- he wondered. He tried to push the questions out of his mind. He had been hurt too many times. Liz had been the last straw. He could not take anymore pain like her reaction to his appearance after he returned from captivity. Perhaps he had expected too much of her, after all she barged into the hospital without letting the doctors brief her on his condition. But she was like that. Impetuous. The pain of that meeting still burned in his memory. Yet here beside him was a young woman whose eyes enchanted him and made him feel comfortable. She aroused feelings in him that he had tried to bury; the need to be loved, wanted and to be able to love in return. He realized that he was still human, not a mechanical toy with no heart or feelings. He felt the yearnings once again of wanting someone and knowing that he had someone he could call his own. The call to breakfast put a temporary end to his reflections.

They enjoyed a hearty breakfast and pleasant chatter. Lady Whitfield looked tired herself but her obvious happiness of having her husband home shown through it all. Alan Whitfield regaled the ladies with the previous night's engineering project. He noted that it was a shame that it took a Commodore and a General to put together a child's toy. Everyone at the table enjoyed a good laugh.

Since snow in England is not a common occurrence it was decided that the making of a snowman was in order. With a twinkle in the Commodore's eyes, he mumbled something about an old fashioned snowball fight. This was not lost on the General. An hour later all the children were outside, bundled up against the cold and dampness. All the adults were outside to supervise. There was great merriment. Frank and Amanda rolled snowballs for the children and Sgt. Akers helped the children build a snowman. Sarah stood aside for a short time, but Frank talked to her and took her hands and put a snowball in it. She rolled it around and felt it through her mittens. She even tasted the snow. A very big smile lit up her face as she made her own snowball. Amanda directed her aim and she let fly and hit her youngest brother who gently reciprocated. Then the little girl started giggling and soon was laughing. Alan Whitfield stood back with his wife and smiled at the happiness of his family. This is what Christmas was about, that, and the birth of the Christ Child. Then he remembered, he had not read the Christmas story to his children. Since they could not get to their church, he decided to read it as soon as the children were inside and having their hot cocoa. Then they would be ready for their naps.

The reading of the First Christmas capped a full morning. The adults enjoyed the story as much as the children. Frank had not heard it in a very long time. It was just as comforting now as it was back when his grandfather told him the story. Now he was sitting in a foreign country during the worst of times and the Christmas message found a home in his heart once again.

After the reading, the children gratefully went upstairs with Nanny to get some rest. Sarah had given Frank a big hug before she went upstairs. She thanked him for showing her how to make a snowball. He was deeply moved by her display of affection. As she departed, he wondered what her future held. Amanda came back downstairs with a package in her hand. Frank was still in the library sitting in front of the fire, letting its warmth comfort him. She sat down beside him and he turned to look at her. God, she was beautiful by firelight, or covered with snow. She handed him the package. "What's this?" He asked.

"Everyone gets a little something at Christmas when they enter our house. It's tradition." She noted the startled look on his face. "Oh, don't worry it's nothing fancy. Very utilitarian actually."

"But, I have nothing to give you." he said hesitantly.

"It's not expected. We always share with strangers who may come to our door at Christmas. It's a long-standing tradition of hundreds of years. Open it and I hope you will forgive the dropped stitches. My eyes were crossing last night." He opened the package and in it was a beautiful shetland wool scarf. "I also made one for Sgt. Akers. He said his mother and grandmother always knitted gifts for the family for Christmas. He looks very homesick."

Frank fingered the lovely, soft scarf and and told her he knew his sargeant was indeed homesick and he did not blame him. He hadn't been home to America since 1939 and he was feeling down himself. He looked at Amanda and saw tenderness in her face. He cleared his throat and thanked her from the bottom of his heart. He really wanted to take her in his arms but it would be way out of line. He had only know her for twenty-four hours but in that short period of time his world had been turned around yet again. Thoughts of Liz were erased from his mind as well as any other woman he had known. He looked down at the lovely scarf with its muted, hand dyed colors of blues, pinks and greys and it reminded him of a winter sunset. Frank put it around his neck and felt the warmth of the scarf. "Its perfect," he said with emotion in his voice. "Thank you again."

Amanda stifled a yawn and said, "Well, I too need a nap. The children have worn me out but what a pleasure they were today. Tea will be served at 4 p.m. and then dinner at 7:00 p.m. I suppose you will try to go back tomorrow. Frank closed his eyes briefly and nodded yes.

"If the roads are any way passable we must get back to London. I don't want anyone to think we've been kidnapped," he said with a crooked smile on his face. Then he got up, yawned and said, "I think a nap is most appropriate. Do children always wear adults out?"

Amanda giggled and said, "Oh yes. They make us relive our own childhood and it's rather exhausting." The pair slowly went up the stairs to their separate bedrooms. Frank once again carefully took off his jacket and laid down and quickly fell asleep. The call to tea seem to come all too soon. But when Frank got up this time and looked out the window he noticed that the snow was already starting to melt. The fickle British weather was once again playing its tricks.

Directly after tea, Sgt. Akers and Cummins, with a little help from a tractor, pulled the car out of the ditch. There was some damage to the bumper but Akers managed to get it straightened out enough to drive. The road was still slippery but he was pretty sure that by tomorrow they would be able to complete the trip back to London.

Part Four - Time To Go Back

The next day was clear and warmer than the last few days. After a hearty breakfast the Sargeant loaded the car with their luggage. Frank bid Lady Whitfield and Alan goodbye and thanked them for their hospitality. He spoke to each of the children and especially Sarah who hung on to his hand and made him promise to come back to visit. He assured her that if there was any way possible, he would return. He felt a strong fondness for this special child.

Then it was time to say goodbye to Amanda. He had the scarf she had made him around his neck. He tried to keep the conversation light but inside his heart was in pain. He did not want to say goodbye to her. Had he still been in command of the 918th he would have invited her to bring him some planes, or visit, anything just to see her again. As it was, his brain was stymied. He found himself stammering under the stress. It was one of the results of having been without food and incarcerated in the cold, damp cell in the stalag.

Amanda sensing his distress, spoke and said she hoped she might run into him in London. She went there from time to time. Frank looked at her, hope glimmering in his heart, and he asked if she would be in London on New Year's Eve. She said she had plans to be there. Frank thoughtfully looked away and then back at her. He said he was fairly certain there would be a dance somewhere in town for the military. He asked if she would call him when she got there, because he would love to take her as his date. She said she would love to go to the dance with him and would be happy to call him. They exchanged phone numbers. They were standing on the steps of the manor house and finally he realized his driver was looking at his watch. Frank glanced at his own. They had to leave now, for sure. He tenderly took Amanda's hand, squeezing it ever so gently, and said. "I'll be seeing you then. I'm looking forward to New Year's Eve. He finally let go, turned, went down the steps, and got in his staff car and left for London.

Alan was watching his sister from his study window. He watched as the General held on to Amanda's hand and then left. He saw her wave good bye to the departing staff car. His brotherly concerns were rising and he decided to have a chat with her.

When she came in the door, he motioned for her to come into his office. After offering his sister a drink and lighting a cigarette he sat on the arm of his chair and looked at her. There was a different look to her face. "Are you falling for the Yank?" he queried.

"I don't know. I want to know more about him. There is something about him that is so very sad. Sarah even noticed and asked me why he was sad. I didn't know what to tell her, so I just said he might be homesick like so many others. Sarah accepted that. But, Alan, there is something about him that intrigues me and it's something good. I just, well, I just don't know what it is. I can't put a finger on it. Have you heard of him before today or know something of him, however small bit of information?"

Alan pondered her question, and how to answer her without revealing that he had met Savage before. He really did not know much about General Savage except what he had heard at the conference. The talk going around was that the General had been in captivity in a German POW prison for a couple of months. What he did know was more what he had observed in the briefings he had been involved in with the General. Savage was a brilliant tactictian. His suggestions and observations of obvious gaps in their operations planning were keen. His instincts were superior to many of the attendees. The rest of what Alan thought he knew about Savage was strictly observations of his own. The man was in emotional pain. He had suffered much at the hands of the Germans. Savage kept it inside him and Alan wondered if it was a bit like a time bomb that might go off with the least provocation. He did not really know the man well at all and he did not know what to tell his sister.

He realized she was staring intently at him. "You do know something, my dear brother. I can tell because it is taking you too long to answer." She smiled at her brother. "You're worried about my getting involved with him, aren't you?"

This was a question Alan could answer. "Yes, I am concerned about that. I don't know much about the man except for what I've heard from what the Americans call scuttlebutt. He was imprisoned for several months by the Nazis, thought to be dead and declared killed in action, finally found and rescued by the underground. He was very sick for some time and just now has regained his health. Anyway, that's what I've heard but not what I know for sure. Sometimes men who have been in his situation have problems adjusting after they regain their freedom."

"What kind of problems?", Amanda asked.

"Well, the emotional kind, mental problems. I don't know precisely. That is what concerns me. I just want you to be forewarned to be cautious. From my observations here, I see a good man who is haunted by ghosts of his past. He's trying to find himself again and right now can only do so in his work. Sometimes, even good men snap Amanda. Just be careful. That is all I'm asking."

She considered her brother's words carefully for some time while looking into the fire. Quietly, she said, "I will be cautious, I promise you."

Part Five - The New Year's Dance

Amanda was able to get time off for the dance. She contacted Frank and let him know she'd make it. He was delighted. The weather was cloudy, threatening rain but it didn't matter to him. He had looked forward to this dance for a week. He was in better spirits than he had been in a long time.

Frank picked Amanda up at 9 p.m at her hotel. She had to remain in uniform this time but Frank didn't care. He was just happy she was sharing the night with him. They dined at a favorite restaurant of his. Amanda was quite pleased with his taste. Their conversation was awkward at first. Finally Amanda asked him how long he had been in England. He told her since 1939. "Good Lord", she exclaimed, "have you been back to the states in that time?"

"No, I've been here the entire time."

"Arn't you homesick?" she asked.

"Yes and no. I have no one to go home to visit. My family died years ago. So my family now is my fellow soldiers. It would, however, be great to touch American soil once again." Frank shrugged his shoulders and took a sip of his wine. Then he sheepishly looked at her and said, "I guess home is wherever I hang my hat."

She looked at him intently. "Wouldn't you like something a little more meaningful then just four walls?"

"Oh yes", he replied. "I'm ready for something more. I dream of getting married and having a family of my own. As long as I remain in service, a physical home will always change. Military life requires us to move frequently. But as long as I have my family with me then it makes it all bearable." Then with wistfulness in his voice, he looked down at his wine glass and said softly, "Oh yes, I am very ready, whether this damn war is over or not."

Amanda looked at him, her light brown eyes gleaming, and asked, "I take it that you are not spoken for then?"

Frank, with a raised eyebrow, grinned and said, "You would be quite right."

She checked the time and then inquired when they needed to be leaving. Frank looked at his watch and said they needed to leave now. He paid the bill and left a handsome tip for his favorite waiter.

It was 10:30 p.m. when they arrived. The dance had just gotten into full swing. The dance hall was gaily decorated with garlands of evergreens and holly berries strung along the walls and mistletoe lurking overhead where least expected. One of the best of the Big Bands had come in from America and the music was excellent. There were many women dressed in gowns for the occasion but there were also many women in uniform. Amanda felt quite at home. Frank greeted a few acquaintences and introduced Amanda to several of the officers. Then he guided her out to the dance floor and they enjoyed the music, the merriment and the atmosphere.

Amanda felt comfortable in his arms and they glided around the dance floor easily. She observed her dancing partner. Yes, he was grey at the temples, gaunt and underweight, but he had the most incredible blue eyes and eyebrows that were much lighter than his hair. There was character in his face. One moment his face was controlled and almost stoical, the next, all his hopes and fears were present. On one hand he seemed made of steel; and the other hand he was vunerable. He was a man of great contrast. She was intrigued. No --- more than just that. Somehow, someway the man had found her heart and touched it. With him, she could no longer remain aloof and above everyday feelings. She had heard that the eyes were the windows of a person's soul. Now she understood quite well what it meant. His eyes were speaking volumes to her. She had to have more time with him tonight, to get to know him better. She had to find a way.

The band started playing "Body and Soul" with a slow, sexy saxophone. Amanda felt herself melting into his arms and he held her close, his face resting against her cheek. Her eyes closed, she let the music carry her mind away to peaceful times. She had never felt like this before. Amanda did not want the evening to end. Still, she felt the need to proceed with caution. She needed to find out whether he felt the same way. Her brother's words echoed in her mind. She fully understood what Alan meant.

The time inched closer to that special hour when one year drags itself wearily into history and a new one throws open the door to new possibilities. Frank went to get two fresh glasses of champagne and Amanda was alone for several minutes. An American Lt. Colonel approached her. He was ruddy faced from too much alcohol. Since the band was playing, he asked her to dance. She declined and said her date would be back shortly. He was persistent. She was getting annoyed. Out of the corner of her eye she noticed movement and looked toward it and saw Frank with a glass in each hand. He had a strange look on his face and his eyes had turned cold as ice and were focused on the Lt. Colonel. "Oh dear," she thought to herself. When Frank spoke his voice was soft, but it had the impact of a bullwhip on the drunken man.

"Hello, Joe. I see you've met my date." Joe Gallagher whirled around with a look of shock and apprehension in his eyes and faced his former commanding officer. He stammered, trying to get words out of his mouth. The atmosphere around the three bristled with electricity. Gallagher finally managed to say, "Oh, I didn't realize she was with you Frank. Uh, sorry."

Frank's eyes narrowed as he replied, "Yes, may I introduce Leftenant Amanda Whitfield. Amanda, this is Lt. Col. Joseph Anson Gallagher, commander of the 918th." Joe shakily reached out his hand to Amanda. She accepted graciously. "How nice to meet you, sir," she replied. She noted that the atmosphere was highly charged now. Well, she thought, it's time to break the tension. She looked straight at Frank, took her glass and said, "Darling, how kind of you to bring the bubbly. How close are we to the witching hour. This distracted Frank as he had to look down at his watch. "Twenty minutes and counting" he said. Gallagher quickly made his apologies and fled.

Amanda took note of the lingering anger on Frank's face as he watched the departing form of Col. Gallagher, and she stepped in closer to him and gave him a little kiss. Once again distracted, he looked down at her and smiling very softly said, "Madam, you are not going to get a way with just one kiss."

"I should certainly hope not", she replied with a smile. "I certainly hope not", she emphasized. Frank caught her up in an embrace and then held her close as the clock ticked down.

Then Amanda thought of a plan of action for the rest of the evening. "Do you have to go back on duty this evening?", she asked him.

"Why, no", he replied, a bit puzzled.

"Is there a phone handy that I may use?"

"I'm sure we can find one, but we're getting close to Midnight."

"Oh, I'm not going anywhere until the magic hour is reached." she said with a smile.

Frank happily returned her smile. Suddenly the room was counting down: seven, six, five, four, three, two, one --- Happy New Year! Cheers broke out and then the strains of "Auld Lang Syne" were being sung. Frank and Amanda heard little. He was kissing her hard and long and then, after coming up for air, said Happy New Year. They held each other and stood there watching the gaiety around them and finishing off their champagne. One of the generals from SHAEF came over to shake hands with Frank and Savage introduced Amanda to General Pritchard. The man gave her a kiss on the cheek and slapped Frank on the back. "Glad to have a new year in front of you, Frank?"

"Yes'sir", Frank replied. "Very glad." Pritchard moved on and Frank said, "Now let's go find a phone." With a quick inquiry, Amanda found a phone, made her call and then said to Frank, "When you ready to leave, I have someplace quiet and peaceful for us to go to."

"Where?" he asked with a grin on his face.

"My hotel has several small but private reading rooms downstairs off the lobby. They will have hot tea for me and whatever you would like to drink, along with some pastries. All the little rooms have fireplaces so we will be quite cosy. What do you think?"

"Let's go", he said. They caught a cab back to Amanda's hotel. The desk keeper greeted her and the General very cordially and said all was ready as she had requested. He showed them the room. Amanda made a quick check and found everything quite satisfactory. She thanked the clerk and he left them, bidding them both a Happy New Year. She pulled off her hat and Frank helped her with her coat. He took off his own hat, coat and his uniform jacket and loosened his tie. It was peaceful in the small room. There was a very old clock on the mantle, ticking its way into the new year. The room was wood paneled in rich mohogany that had been darkend through the years with fireplace and cigarette smoke. Pictures of hunting scenes were spaced across each of the four walls. He sat down on the overstuffed sofa next to Amanda. For the next several hours they either talked or were silent. They both learned a lot about each others' hopes and dreams. Frank finally told her about the downing of his plane, his capture and his experience in the stalag. He explained, as best he could, what he went through under a brutal prison commandant. He had been beaten, starved but the worst part was having his name taken from him and given only a serial number. That was the worst part of the entire ordeal. It was hard to explain to her what it was like to lose his identity and only be referred to as a number. She listened intently, understanding some but not all of what he went through. That he survived his imprisonment at all, astonished her. He had to be made of stronger stuff than most men. No wonder he had aged, and yet --- he really hadn't aged that much. To her, he still had an impish quality about him that had not been driven out. She did, however, understand why her brother had asked her to be cautious. Apparently, her brother knew more then he had told her. She took Frank's hand and put her other hand around his neck and pulled him closer to her. They said very little for the next hour, but sat there in companionable silence. Frank dozed off and on but was ever mindful of Amanda's presence.

Amanda sat close to him. Her mind going over every detail of what he had told her. When she asked how he was now after several months of freedom he told her about the nightmares, and how bad they were. He seldom slept a full night anymore. He was a challenge for any woman, but Amanda knew in her heart that no matter what problems the General had she could help him weather them. She wanted to --- badly.

They had finished up their pastries and all the tea and milk. She looked at her watch and it was now close to 4 a..m.. She touched his cheek and asked when did he need to return to quarters, or did they do bed checks for Generals. He smiled and opened his eyes. He did plan to do some work today even though it was New Year's Day. He asked her about when she needed to report back to her duty station. She said by 6 p.m. She would be in the air the next day, she was sure. Frank looked at her and touched her cheek. "I wish," he started to say, "I wish ---". He couldn't finish his sentence. His emotions were lumped in his throat and he looked away from her.

"What do you wish, Frank?" She looked at him and waited for him to answer. Finally he answered her.

"I wish we could do this for the rest of our lives", he said. "Just sit here in front of the fire like two old friends, maybe more, and let the world roll by us. He turned now to look at her. "Thank you for this most wonderful evening."

Amanda again touched his cheek and ever so softly caressed it. At first she said nothing in return then she said, "Why General, that sounds something like a proposal."

"It is Amanda. Will you spend the rest of your life with me?"

She did not hesitate this time. "Yes, I would be honored to be your wife and, if we're so blessed, have your children. Yes, Frank!"

His face reflected all his hopes and fears and needs. In just a week, he had fallen in love and then proposed to a very special woman. Tears came to his eyes and he brought her close for a passionate kiss and then he said, "Thank you so very much".

After he released her from his embrace he told her he needed to talk to her brother and get his permission. Amanda said she didn't need her brother's permission. Frank countered that it was the proper thing to do, especially since they had only known each other for such a short time. He promised to see to that chore quickly.

They talked a little more about wedding plans. He hoped to be sent home to America within the next six months and perhaps they could time a wedding around that time.

Part Six - The Wedding and Home

Later in that week, Frank talked to Amanda's brother and convinced Alan that his intentions were honorable even though he and Amanda had only known each other for such a short time. Alan convinced Frank to wait a few months before the wedding. Frank agreed to Alan's request.

Four months later, in April of 1944, he and Lady Amanda Whitfield were married in a small church near her family's estate. Alan gave his sister away. Since Frank had gotten his orders for a transfer back to the United States, they spent their honeymoon in Georgia and had a short visit with her mother in New Hampshire. After that, Frank went on to his new assignment and Amanda went back to England, ferrying planes. When Frank's new group was fully trained, he was reassigned.

Frank moved his group to the Pacific Theatre and Amanda got a transfer to Australia and ran supply flights to various British installations all over the South Pacific. They met when and where they could, stealing time to be together.

Christmas of 1944, Amanda and Frank celebrated together at Frank's base. Three months later he got a letter from his wife telling him he was going to be a father. On her way back to Britain, Amanda was able to meet Frank at a stopover point on her way home. He held her for a long time in the short hour they had. She told him he need not have worried about being able to procreate. He had done an admirable job, Frank was happier then he had ever been in his life. His only sadness was that he had to let his wife out of his arms again. But, he vowed, it would be the last time. After the war was over they would be together as a family.

Amanda delivered her first child at her mother's house in late September. Frank made it home just in time for the birth and was by her side when his daughter Amanda Sue arrived.

Frank's retrospect was interrupted when the door opened and Amanda walked in. His daughter squealed and ran toward her mom, the baby babbled and did a quick crawl toward his mother. Frank calmly got up, scooped up the baby and walked over to greet his wife with a kiss. "How was your adventure", he asked, with a grin on his face.

"A bit hectic, but great fun. Oh, by the way, it's snowing again," she replied.

He picked up his daughter and asked her to let mommy get her coat off but the happy child propelled herself out of her dad's arms into her mother's. Amanda accepted the child's kisses and hugs and Frank managed to help his wife out of her coat. She handed Amanda Sue a package and and sent her daughter on the busy task of hiding the present. Frank gave her a questioning look but Amanda just gave him another kiss and hug and a "you'll find out soon enough" look. Oh how he loved those fawn colored eyes with their secrets.

The children were fed and tucked into bed for the evening. They finally sat down together in front of the fireplace where Frank had built a blazing fire. They watched the dancing flames in silence for awhile. Then Amanda asked, "What were you thinking about when I came home?" She had noticed the pensive look on her husband's face when she came in the door. Frank put his head back on the sofa, stretched out his legs and took a few moments to answer.

Finally he said, "I was recalling our first Christmas together. How wonderful it was for a combat weary warrior. You saved my life, sweetheart. You saved my sanity, maybe even my soul."

She turned her head to better see her husband's face. "How did I do all that?" she asked.

He replied, "You opened the door of your heart and let me in." Amanda snuggled her head against her husband's shoulder.

"Darling, I just know that I fell in love with the man who came through the door that day. I needed you as much as you needed me and I would have moved heaven, earth and a mountain range to make you happy. He kissed the top of her head, her cheek, her lips and held her close to him, smiling. "Now here we are," she reflected, "like two old codgers, sitting in front of the fireplace reminiscing about the past. Merry Christmas my love!"